"hey , why you are showing such an attitude toward getting married? dont u wanna get married? freedom, own space and responsibilities are all just excuses... for not getting married! i mean its right age, u are almost of my age.... and see i am even having a baby at this age! whats the problem? what u wanna do with ur life? dont u think each age has its own physical and emotional need?" i literally shoted this time on my friend... actualy i had explained her the same point several times before... and this time i wanted her to respond!
she is my train friend![ we are travelling by same train from last 6 months, and its my nature to make friends around... ] .. lets call her as "A"...
"A" heard my almost shout tone, and smiled.. [though her eyes blinked with pain!]
"A" thought for some time and replied" can we stop for a coffee here?"... [generally "A" is always in hurry and she literally runs to catch a bus for her job destination... many times i asked her for COFFEE at station...but always she
we were at CCD/ railway station, surat..[yes... at station also we have coffee day stalls !].
"bhumika, we belong to a caste were its custom to give money in wedding... [she smartly opted for money as custom.. n hadnt used word dowry !] , we are 4 sisters.. and u know i am the elder1, 3 of my sisters are studying... can i dream of my life at this point? second thing.. just a month before my family finalised 1 RISHTA for me, me and the boy met, we liked eachother... but.. we cant afford the custom they are asking for... though i have heard that that boy is still not married and is waiting for me/my family to approach! [ ahhh... isnt that a kind of LOVE???]....[ i could see in her eyes that she hoped the same.. and wanted to be with that guy the same way!] ..." :: "A" replied with a hope in her eyes and smile on face!
we got departed.... on my way , my mind raced... i felt numb! i started comparing myself with her!
ME.... more of selfish and practical @ life... all decisions of my life were always taken by me, @ studies,
@ life partner, @ wedding, @job.. n all! whether i made right / wrong decision... i felt responsible for my own decisions and felt happy as whatever i am today i am just because of myself! i believe in takin rational and practical decision , when its @ life! [ thats why i advised her also that she should contact that boy some how and convey the situation... it could be turn out as arrange+love wedding!]
and "A" .. she s living for her family! she is earning, supporting her family, encouraging her sisters to study! doesnt she has any dreams? what @ her life? she worries @ her younger sisters and their life..[ thats why she think, her wrong step can spoil many lives! and if she dnt marry even in worst case , she can always let her sisters help and get married [on cost of her life!]!]
i wondered who was wrong? me or she? my thinking was more practical or her idiology is much emotional?
lets leave all to god! i wish to god [being very very much optimistic for her!] that god should give some sense to the families of BOYS... and make them realise... "Girls are not for sale.. and neither their dreams!"...
do you purchase your father/mother/brother/sister or friends with money???? can money give a good feeling full relation??? then why some1 wanna ask dowry for wedding???
we all are "double standard ki standard misal!!!"
what can be cost of a girls dreams, hopes, ambitions, life ???
i feel .......................................
--- "beti bachao" , "kanya shikshan" all looks good just on paper...
--- "sabki ladli bebo", "mere ghar ayi ek nanhi pari", "hum ladkiyaan" ..all such TV soaps are a big FAKE!
i am also mother of a baby girl! i understand a lot the dreams parents have for their daughter's wedding!