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People laugh as I am DIFFERENT, I laugh coz they are all SAME!

"हजारो ख्वाहिशे ऐसी के हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले....
बहोत निकले मेरे अरमान.... मगर फिर भी कम निकले!!!"

"Look at HEER.... keyur, She is so happy! She s absolutely new Heer we have discovered on this diwali at ahmedabad unlike what she was, who loved to be lonely wid mom n dad only, now she loves to be wid full family, plays[ i should say fights!] with cousins, roams around wid dada-dadi, gets adored wid mota papa-mummy! dammm... we gotta go back tomorrow... back to normal-boring routine, back to atomic family!!! why we cnt have a joint family? why ??? " - what my words left unsaid.... all was said by the tears ....

{
what do we mean by a joint family these days???
a family where we have mom, papa, kid, grand parents living together... [happily or unhappily ... its out of context! ]
but... as i remember before some years.... joint family meant where you can find the whole family including mother, father, kid, grand parents, uncles, aunties, their families, gran-grand parents and many other relatives living HAPPILY together.....

gosh....... definitions are changing so fast!
today our atomic family is one where we have a family wid father, mother n kid[s]....
tomorrow may be definition of atomic family will revise as family wid only life partners/ live-in partners/ any type of partners...

god knows what next!!!!!
}

My Question was simple..... which i had raised many times before.... and i was not waiting for any kind of reply from keyur , as keyur had cleared all possibilities and situation many a times before....

पर क्या करे?
ये इमोशन भी कितने स्टुपिड होते हे! लोजिक ही नहीं समजते !

I have accepted the situation happily as it is .... as all my relations are very important for me !

why?
in last 5 years i have found many ODDs in me.... which makes me mismatch for a joint family !

  • i am very good in technical skills ..... but that cant overcome my poor kitchen skills! [ though i am improving, had prepared meal for 15 persons last satday! but i dont see myself in love with cookin skills....n make papad, achar, farsan, sweets etc!]
  • I am good in communication skills.... but whats advantage of it , if it don't include ladies special skills such as bargaining , buttering, doin emotional atyachar to convince some1 .....
  • Family do have higher priority for me over job... but that don't mean i will attend any unnecessary family function on cost of my job responsibilities! [ my job don't just pay me money , its paying me a status and a lot respect just because i am worth it and for that i need to set priorities and follow it! ]
  • I do love and respect my family a lot.... but i do have different thinking, priorities and career goals.... May be, i am selfish..... cant sacrifice my dreams and goals....


Perhaps that makes me too much misfit to any traditional family!
The List is Looooooooong......

but.... the most surprising fact in my life is...

"Accepting all ODDs of mine my family [not just my hubby... whole family] has accepted me wid my own space! " [ they had any other option ??? ]

Though i am trying my best to improve all my Odds... still... there s no more hope... because...
"No one can improve Perfection! "
{n i am perfectly imperfect !}

what say friends?



Comments

Minal said…
By reading your posts for Joint family well, a new meaning of J.F. ;) now a days absolutely right. You know, just after marriage if you lived with them as a joint family then it wouldn't be hard infact you and they had to adjust with diff. mentality. But..now time passed by living as a nuclear family, that's why you found it hard. What you've mentioned like cooking skill, communication skill, social functions it doesn't matter most as you may found a solution or as time goes family also got to adjust with it. Mentality and generation gap plays a big role. :)
Aakanksha said…
wow....nice one.... seems like describes my future.. lolz...

& minal di...thanx a lot..gotta know manythings from ur comment... ;):)
Vasundhara said…
yes thats really true...JF definition has changed and our generation cannot adjust to itz traditions!! ..Perhaps..
bhumika said…
@minaldi
u r right...
but concepts changes from arrange marriage to love marriage..
i mean all social athics n rules are different for love n arrange marriage!

that makes impossible for me to have a joint family as of today!
if i wanna live wid family.. bt family thinks its better if we live away.... what to do?
may be accepting difference... and living wid this difference for daily s too different!
~ Lopa said…
ya cant agree more on your para about definition of joint families...now when we live with our parents with our kids, we call it a join family... gone are the days when join family meant living 50 people together !
Minal said…
Nope, dear all social ethics n rules remained same, doesn't matter love or arranged marriage. Its totally, wholly depends on understanding of family members with each other, specifically parents. Even we witnessed lots of arranged marriage couple living as a nuclear family after smtime. Actually parents needs to adjust with new mentality and to adjust with today's generation. Yeah, accepting diff. and living with them its different and many a tms create clashes too. If they want to live away it's o.k accept it, u shudn't feel guilty abt. it. But together can try meet or live for an occasion so Heer feels good by grandparents' love and attachment.
Swati Borsaniya said…
hmmm....pehla 50 ppl thi joint family banatu. Pan samay ni sathe a family na loko vicharo pan badalata rehva joiye. Navu apanavu joiye ane junu bhuli javu joiye.Haji amuk "dadima" pasethi sambhalava male 6 k "are aavdi thai ane rasoi nathi aavdati hu to aavdi umare sasre hati" Have a dadima ne 2009 ma kem lavava??? :-P pa6i to joint family nanu j thatu jay ne. Aaje vicharo bahu zadapthi visatarata jay 6. :-)ane ani sathe mahatvakankshao pan!!!
Prima said…
where did my post vanish?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
bhumika said…
@prima... it may be fault of blogger... even i have nt seen ur post dear!
Prima said…
huh sucks! anyways my post was that even I used to dream of a joint family at a certain point of time. Not marrying or anything specific. Just wanted to b surrounded by people. but, things changed! as they always do :)

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