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"I dont want my daughter to be IDEAL ...."

" No bhumika... dont take it seriously... Its routine for me... He is keep on doing this since last 2 years.. He will just stare and follow... He just dnt understand any language!  " - trupti said in heavy tone!

" WTF!! but why? why dont u just slap him... or let me do it for u! damm he s following you since last two years.. and u let him do it! do you know what harm he can do to you dear?" - trupti , my train friend was sharing her worries which made my anger blow!

"I know bhumika, I tried all, my friends had fight with him, they threaten him...! we tried all ways... but he is the same he used to be since last 2 years.. he knows i am married... yet. .. and if  i will slap him all around[all commuters] will come to know about  the matter and will think i am not having good moral character... , or if i  will inform my husband/father, what they will think @ me? .. forget it! " - trupti explained the prob!

{
I wondered, if target was me, how many slaps, he must have got in 2 years??? Or in how many days he must have stopped following ?? - 1 or 2??
What they will think of me or my character? I DONT care , if they dont care!!! 
 }

"why dont you leave job trupti? " - our beloved Vilasmasi expressed her worries!!

{Why.. for that rat ? }

"you are not in government job, why dont you change city and job... "- pallaviben showed one more easy solution!
{Ohhh... }

"look trupti, the boys of this religion[???] are a lot tough and crazy! they can go to any extreme.. dont do anything that can harm you or your family! just leave this route, city and job... take home in some other area, in some other city and live happily! being a girl you need to think about two families and behave as ideal daughter/daughter-in-law !  " - bakulamasi expressed her wit !

"WTF!!! I am sorry! but why you all are behaving like #$%*&^ !!!
Is this the solution of the problem? just because we all think this way , such pigs have so much courage to harm gals like trupti!
Its not @ any religion! Its about opposing what you feel is wrong! How many cities, jobs, houses trupti will change? whats the guarantee that in other city/job some other monster wont try to trouble her?
Its not just @ Trupti... its about me, you , my daughter and all gals out !
If some one threatens you, you will stop breathing??
Trupti stop behaving like Goodie goodie gal... and IDEAL , be what you are, say what you feel, Do what you want to do!!! 
Life is  not Rajshree production's FILM, no HERO will come for your rescue, you will have to help yourslf!!!  " - I still had a lot to say....

"Bhumika, life is not your lecture as well, one has to act "ideally" his/her role!  " - pallaviben said!

"Life is not just a lecture .......... Thats why we have to do something, thats why we need to dare and act!!! " - I thought but hadn't replied! i cant force them think like me, act like me...

but my mind felt sick with a lot Qs ::
" what is love? "  
"The maniac who is following any gal , suffering from single sided feeling - is in love?" 
"Why decisions change as the "gender" change??? "


I know the answers... but its useless to share...

But i am sure... i will explain all answers precisely to my kid!

I dont want my daughter to be IDEAL girl, IDEAL daughter, IDEAL wife,  IDEAL bahu.... 

I want her to throw away the load of "IDEAL" label and live her life on her choice and conditions! 

Comments

Harsh said…
kudos...wht a post!!! i feel here wht u think...also,it's not the case 4 daughter only,it's also about IDEAL SON or SANSKARI DIKRO.tht bows the elders,say sushtu sushtu talkings,follow mom and dad's every[!!!]decisions...our lives r tied with their lives by many ways and layers...write smthing more about sons also if possible...
~ Lopa said…
I have slapped a few, and that time i felt that was the right thing to do.
But if you look at kind of news in media, any elderly people will feel protected for their daughters.

Changing job and location is the worst advise one can give, running away from a problem is never a solution, solving it is.
But i will never advise same to anyone but even slapping anyone is not very right thing to do! Though i have done it, now i realise it can backfire in some cases.
If you know that person is harm-less in certain ways, will stop bugging you after a slap and has no under-world contact slap slap slap but if not sure, don't. lol

And i am so against thinking what will my parents, my in laws, my husband or society will think. No family thinks harm for their daughter or bahu, i think they should feel proud that one is open to confide in them.

And what about society man, who cares, they have nothing better to do and hence they talk and they will talk whatever you do, this way or that way !
Minal said…
Slap don't works always. Qiute agree with what Lopa said.
Definitely, why any gender should live ideal? whether its a son or daughter, they are free to live their own life with their choices, likes and conditions. Afterall person is responsible for their own decision but... atleast he/she will be happy or satisfied with their life.
Parth said…
A guy is following a married girl for 2 years without any communication, he must be crazy to do that. If he would have wanted to do some harm,he should have done it a long before. you can't/don't solve such cases with a slap. it may not misfire coz i don't feel someone with a gunda connection will follow for 2 years He may be having genuine emotions towards the girl It certainly isn't acceptable and should not be encouraged but Try to say this to him in plain words, hear what he has to say. you never know words may just do it.

Other things are all crap the 'bens' and family thing. I don't know what it is with the girls.A extrovert flamboyant girl always ends up being looked upon as slut(have seen it in college) and most of the girls are silent and "ideal" as u put it so its not the case of only males thinking this way but also the girls ,else why are they trying to be so 'ideal' [such boys are smaller in number].

Regarding the society, Lopa is certainly right when she says "they have nothing better to do and hence they talk and they will talk whatever you do" Our society is indeed full of hypocrites and stereotypes.But you need to care a bit. It isn't fun if you see a person now and then who gives you a 'not-so-good' look or even worst looks away. Thats why I socialize less, better to be alone then be fake or suffer for being upfront. People like you only if you agree with them(in most cases),They can't give a thought to a alternative opinion. I simply refrain from it (in public)
Minal said…
A extrovert flamboyant girl always ends up being looked upon as slut(have seen it in college) and most of the girls are silent and "ideal" as u put it so its not the case of only males thinking this way but also the girls ,else why are they trying to be so 'ideal' [such boys are smaller in number].-------Because of society , see in case of any extrovert girl or bold girl , although, she is innocent but society blame her as 'chalu & 'rakhdel'( so family has to force a girl to become 'ideal' ) though there are exceptions in it too. Overall in our society male and female criteria are different and it always female who has to suffer within society. Boys don't have to behave as ideal as society accept them as they are but not in case of Girl that's a bitter truth. :)
Ashish Dhedhi said…
I am sorry for what I am saying but Trupti should have stopped that guy from the very beginning instead of waiting for two years! Any husband, yours or Trupti's is bound to ask "Why did you waited so long?" and she has to answer that... The path of truth is always rocky but thats the only way out...
I wish you will again ask her to take some action against that ass. A single word of complaint to Railway police can do wonders, but we educated people refrain from approaching the COPS and rant about their inability to curb crime... How are they supposed to stop the crime if we do not support them???
Ashish Dhedhi said…
An extrovert flamboyant girl always ends up being looked upon as slut -- Hey Parth, You must have been to college in early 1960's i guess. How can someone who is an extrovert or flamboyant can be called something like slut???
In dictionary:
Extrovert: an outgoing, gregarious person
Flamboyant: strikingly bold or brilliant; showy: flamboyant colors.

Slut: an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

Now, how can you relate the above two words with the last one?
Its a pity that we all know that there is a word called SLUT for a female who is lower on her moral side but no such word for a male... Does anyone have an idea what you call a Male slut?
Bhumika said…
@LOPA
right dear!
Slapping can not be answer always!
but i just wanted to ask her one point, that the very first time he followed and harrased she must have slaped to show , she is not object and she has objection with what he is doing! once opposed strongly, may have stopped him repeating the same!
Bhumika said…
@Parth,
He certainly dont have serious emotions towards her! yeah he has some serious intention, but which kinda, we all know!

The RAT has not harmed trupti since long just because he dont have much dare, and trupti is always surrounded by friends.. once when she was alone, the RAT came wid his 2 friends in a car to talk to her, bt girl was so scared thinking he may he may do something forcefully or hijack her! now after this episode she denies to talk to him neways! she s scared!

and she had a long talk with the RAT , in front of his/her friends.. both presented their points.. the boy just wants to own her, any how, whatever long it takes...!!! PSYCHO!!!

and lastly! for using word "slut" .... I felt bad, being female!
agree wid ashish on this point..
Bhumika said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bhumika said…
@Ashish,
we already have one lady who is custom inspector, whith whom we have discussed the matter!
registering a complain, is what i suggested, even not in railway, i advised in police, as i am quite aware of our Female biased laws!!!
but registering a complain needs a lot guts!

All gals dont have wealthy, strong, supportive background!!!
Still a small dare can make a lot impact thats what i think!!! and advise all!

"Speak UP and DARE!!! " :)
RADHEKRISHNA said…
hey thts what we can say generation gape...

we can serve our child btr then today...as we understand n have seen it...

and our parents evn nvr try to understand wht we think and why we do anything...its hurts...but wht to do?? have to tolerate it or we can oppose them but usually we alws live wht they want sometime for tht we have to do compromise but there is only two option as i said n most off us alws choose a 2nd option we alws tolerate it ..and we cant change our parents or our so called community wht completely full of unpractical n stupid ppl...so we can change it by make change in our own child...[:P]..
Parth said…
@ ashish
I knew the meanings and What I told ain't a assumption. People see things differently because things can sometimes be different.I may have not used the word 'slut'(should have used chalu which would have meant the same anyways). its not about 60s,this blog post itself depicts it(vilasmasi and pallaviben, what else would be the reason for them saying what they said?!?)

@ bhumika mam

The rat then certainly needs to get slapped(if not in real then metaphorical for sure)
pinakin said…
after reading ur blog n after standing still and watching this type of accident there are noway out from this morons
me my self trying to do something for my class mate girls n for my cousin sister,i just try to threat them ane vadhare ma samajavu.but they are like have plastic noes jetlivar kapo pachu avi jase.

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