Skip to main content

Arranged Love Marriage:: Is it worth?

New book From Chetan Bhagat - 2 States

2 States
Love marriages around the world are simple:
Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy.

They get married.
In
India, there are a few more steps:
Boy loves Girl. Girl loves Boy.

Girl's family has to love boy. Boy's family has to love girl.

Girl's Family has to love Boy's Family. Boy's family has to love girl's family.
Girl and Boy still love each other. They get married.

and story finishes!

They lived happy ever after! Is it so ????????????????

as an answer i can write a novel .... [ahhh.... sure i can... but who will read?]

from my point of view.... above story is near to many youngsters, as many have faced it and many still facing! its fascination.... to fall in love, to raise in love, to hang out wid love [ of course chori-chori, chupke-chupke!] , to make ur family meet and like [forcefully always!] ur choice... and to get married wid everyone's will and support[ is that possible really?]! its all like a fairy dream....

and as a dream its passes FAST.........

welcome to the story that begins to this end!

its not a dream - as its eye opener!

its not fascinating... but frustrating many times!

welcome to world of "Arranged Love Marriages " .

[ohhhh .... i have heard of Arrange marriage, Love marriage but whats that arranged- love marriage??? ]


"Arranged Love marriage" is an organization where the bride n groom think they r perfect and made for each other but their families think their son / daughter has the worst choice in d world and if given time and better choices they can force their son / daughter to change their decision and lead to their better future!.... sometimes even after their wedding !


I remember one incident ::


" 1 boy brings his 3 friends [ "a", "B", "C"] at his home for a get-to-gather.. all 3 girls are from different background, proficiencies and knowledge skills.... next day, boy asks her mother, from 3 gals which u think i m in love wid? without wasting a second, mother replies "B". son feels so happy saying " mom, ur d best mom in the world! how u came to know @ my choice ?"... mother smiled n replied... "B was the only girl i didn't liked a bit! " ---- thats is Arranged Love Marriage scenario ... "

Loving some1 is easy, maintaining love with "STILL SINGLE" status is easy, promising each-other to love and respect each-other's family is also easy!

[ Promises are made to be broken!]

but when it comes to ACT as promised and to love not only to your life partner but also to his/her entire family , practically it is possible but causes pain and several damage to one's individuality or respect!

each person [a boy or a girl] has an individual identity, own likes/ dislikes, strong/weak points, skills/limitations, good/bad habits, dreams... how can u expect to change his/her promptly, overnight and why??? why 1 need tho change his/her identity?

In arranged marriage Parents have selected daughter/son-in-law. so, they have considered the criteria of selection strong enough to meet their requirements! [ what an efficient search engine we have practically!]. and in arranged love marriage..... do parents have any choice ? they are forced to accept, and this force is resulted in the friction and chain of problems!

Both the families of bride and groom feel hurt , betrayed by their beloved kid and can not forget what dreams they had for their son/daughter's wedding, what plans they made, how good life partner they wanted to search [always prince/princess!] and sadly what a poor choice their son/daughter has!

On the other side, after wedding bride/groom who used to have romantic chats for hours, and spent countless hours admiring each other, after marriage spends most of time in justifying why their mom/dad said something or said nothing [!] and argue @ all bad habits they have which needs to be changed overnight as the family dnt like it ! the adjustment which is smooth in case of a typical Indian arranged marriage becomes painful like hell in arranged love marriage!

is it so painful?

Yes... at least for first 2-3 years, as it is the time both bride/groom and family takes to get adjusted unwillingly...

Arranged Love Marriage:: Is it worth? [pain V/s love]

Certainly " Yes"..... as little pain can bring your LOVE , a beautiful relation and lots of colors to ur life, its always worht!


What say people???






Comments

Vishal Kansagra said…
BD, its really insightful post from you. Gives a brief idea about what to expect in "Arranged Love Marriage". Thanks for the info and warning in advance. Now I am better prepared for this.
Aakanksha said…
hmmm...really nice.. & yeah +1 to CC... gave me advanced warning for this.... :)
Anonymous said…
yes 100% right, each word of this blog is related to me, i m feeling same situation now.
Even now a days i m sandwich between my family n in-laws, but all say that i m a lucky gal..
Unknown said…
hey bhumikaji,
it is really a truth written; about the indian youth who dares to fall=rise in love.
and yes it is a warning in advance, to people like me. kudos.......
Unknown said…
One more difference between love and arrange marriage is, you always always fight fr everything!! Like you can fight just in 5 days of your marriage, on the day of either one's birthday. List is countless but that's the best part!!! I agree it's not just worth but it's worth to die(love) for!!! Right Bhuma???

Popular posts from this blog

"While wiping Evil thoughts from devil Head! "

"Finish your household stuff early today. today Bhabhi is visiting us with her parents. [bhabhi - my beloved jethani , who s more friend n less jethani!] ,should i bring some cold-drink from out? " - keyur asked me takin last Byte of RAJBHOG! [ RAJBHOG - on every saturday  keyur keeps fast, so we do have a heavy menu for dinner, n i call it rajbhog. , FAST - in our definition, havin Fast means just changing menu, eat lots of fruits/ moraiyo/sabudanani khichadi/ sukibhaji/bataka ni chhin/ waffers/ sabudana na vada... n list goes on!, i may not be too good in cookin variety of Routine Food, but i am master in cooking "FARADI FOOD" !] "Ahha, thats Good. why dont u bring fanta/mirinda/mango drink [ as this drinks resembles to juice, they provide good choice!] ? dont forget to bring fruity for hetvi! she will not have anything else then that! , hey keyur - have i told you ,-You Are the Best husband in the World? " - i smiled back, knowing keyur will not a...

લાઈફ સફારી-૧૧૪: : મેનેસ્ત્રુંપીડીયા- ગર્લી પ્રોબ્લેમનું કોમિક સોલ્યુશન

***  લાસ્ટ વિકમાં સૌથી વધુ ચર્ચાયેલા અને ગુગલ પર સર્ચ થયેલા ઇન્ડિયન કોણ ? જો તમારો જવાબ હશે - નરેન્દ્ર મોદી , નીતીશ કુમાર , લાલુ યાદવ , અરવિંદ કેજરીવાલ - તો બોસ - તમે કૈક મિસ છો ! બિહારની ચુંટણીની ચર્ચામાં તમે કદાચ એ ગોસીપ મિસ કરી દીધી છે - જે આમ તો એકદમ હોપલેસ અને ફાલતું ઇસ્યુ પર હતી , છતાં આખા ભારતે એના પર આઘાત - પ્રત્યાઘાત આપ્યા હતા . સોશિયલ મીડિયામાં જેણે એક બોલ્ડ ટોપિક પર ચર્ચા આરંભી દીધી હતી . હજુ ધ્યાનમાં નથી આવતું ? કલુ આપીયે ? આપણે અહી વાત કરી રહ્યા છે બોગ બોસ -8 ના એક ચર્ચાસ્પદ સ્પર્ધક અને બોલીવુડની એક ગુજ્જુ અભિનેત્રી વચ્ચે છેડાયેલા જંગની કે જેને લોહીયાળ રંગ લીધો ! નાં , આપને કોઈ બોલીવુડીયા ગોસીપ નથી જ કરવી . પણ આ વાક - યુદ્ધનાં છેડે રહેલા એક ગંભીર પ્રશ્ન પર વાત કરવાની છે . તો આ સામાજિક પ્રશ્ન સુધી પહોંચવા જાણીએ આ હાઈ - પ્રોફાઈલ ચર્ચા . *** બીગ બોસ -8 માં અત્યંત ચર્ચાસ્પદ રહેલા સ્પર્ધક કુશલ ટંડને સ...

ડિયર MEN ~ આઈ એમ સોરી. હું દિલગીર છું!

ડિયર MEN, STAY સ્ટ્રોંગ! LEARN to સે SORRY! Keep યોર વોઇસ Low. થિન્ક before યુ Act or Speak! યુ આર ઈન અ TRAP. યોર existence ઇઝ ઈન deep dark! કેમ? આ સવાલ નો જવાબ એક વાર્તાથી આપુ? *** એક નાનું શહેર છે. ટાઉન પણ કહી શકો. અહીં રહે છે આપણી વાર્તાનો મુદ્દો અને મૂળ. આ વાર્તામાં આપણે એક મુદ્દા ને અનુલક્ષીને બે પરિવારોની વાત કરવાની છે. તો આ બે પરિવારો પૈકી એક પરિવારને આપણે કહીશું "અસામાજિક" માતા-પિતા અને બીજા પરિવારનો ઉલ્લેખ આપણે કરીશું એઝ "સંસ્કારી-સર્વગુણસંપન્ન" માતા-પિતા. તો આપણા આ ટાઉનના હૃદય સમાન વિસ્તારની એક જાણીતી સોસાયટીમાં આ બે પરિવારો બીજા સોએક પરિવારો સાથે રહે છે. સોસાયટીના કોમન ગાર્ડનમાં આ બંને પરિવારોના બાળકો પોતાના મિત્રો સાથે રમે છે. અચ્છા- તો એમાં મુદ્દો શું છે? અને વાર્તા કેમ માંડી છે? જો આ વાંચનાર તમે પુરુષ છો તો -આ મુદ્દો તમારા માટે  ખુબ મહત્વનો છે, અને જો તમે સ્ત્રી છો તો તમારા માટે આ વાર્તાનો સાર વધુ મહત્વનો છે. અચ્છા તો વાત છે એક સાંઝની. "અસામાજિક પરિવાર" અને "સંસ્કારી પરિવાર" ના બાળકો રોજની જેમ પોતાના મિ...