"bhumika, now you are over-reacting! stop this crap! n why you listen to their blah blah blah... cant u just rest at that time, or listen to some good songs when free... ? n.. now stop crying like babies! Heer s much more stronger then U! at least she cries only when her "MA" or "PA" shout on her... n you are the one who can cry on anyone's rubbish advise, or criticism!" - Keyur was lookin at me, angry and sad both at d same time!
silence.....
"MA.... MA..." Heer comes to me n kisses my forehead!
"OMG, look she s much more wiser then u! who can say she s just 1 year old?" - keyur feels proud on Heer's lovin, caring gesture , n so do I!
why i am so sad ? for whom i am crying?
I am living a reasonably good, happy life! then why this emotional drama?
today while traveling by Bhilad express, returning to home, discussion going on around me was " workin woman... n her Babies!"
"Our great tradition was right Yesterday n its right today also,, but today's gals in fashion n ego, choose their career first, n put family on second step! they dont ever care for their family or kid! just think of Money , Money n money!" - Lady1 said, wid expressions like revealing some brahma Gyan!
"yes, u r absolutely right!. earlier, gals were working for supporting their families... as they had to earn for financial support , n now, girls earn for their individuality, strength, bank balance, new jewelery n all that! we know how much we have suffered while working for our families!" - Lady 2 expressed her views with tone of great secrifice she did!
"earning, being independent.. n all that is just excuse! no1 want to take all troubles of baby n family! its very easy to give birth to a kid, but lot tough to upbring a kid with good values, sanskar! See, today after delivery mother starts job from 2-3 rd month! who cares for baby? just give a bottle full of milk n a Nany[care taker lady], baby will be fine! today's gals dont understand importance of breast feeding! " - Lady3 represented her views , looking at me while speaking each and every word!
"i dont care! i am not gonna speak anything! why i should explain them?" - i thought!
all knew by then who was target of talk!
[BTW, all who were discussing were working women, working since last 20-30 years! even all had daughter/daughter-in-law- who was also working!]
Miserable lady3 felt distracted as i hadnt answered her views... n bashed on again - " i think the girls who come from financially wealthy background, should never work till their kids become big[now big is a fuzzy word... how much big????] ! after all upbringin a kid is a big task! i have seen many kids handed over to nany[care taker] are introverted , shy by nature and dull in over-all activities.. no1 can groom children as mother can do! "...."bhumika, dont take it personally please! its just a healthy discussion!"
I smiled!
Episode ended!
On my way to home, i cdnt stop my tears out!
I could have answered all very well! but why i should answer? and to how many people i will answer?
I reached home... cried a lot ...my hubby n baby being my strength mad me normal again!I will not give any explaination to anybody! no, not because i am not able to... its because i am tired of explaining to all!
I was simply looking at Heer... she was playing innocently! so innocent, so pure, so loving! My Baby!
I felt HAPPY! she will have all that she deserves!
Its rightly said "A Kid needs only LOVE and Affection!"
But naked truth is, only LOVE cant earn a bread, milk, medicines, cloths,education and the list goes on!!!..
{
I am also a normal Mother, like Ur's - who loves her kid, who wants to play with her kid , who enjoy's her kid's plays and mischiefs, who prays for her kid all the time, who lives only for her kid!!! ....
----------- but abnormal is my medical complexities because of which I couldn't breast feed my kid [it still pains! - though consuming amul shakti milk Heers is as Healthy as to be brand ambassador of amul products!], abnormal was my circumstances when because of recession, i had to start working just after 2.5 months of delivery [it was not fun for me to start working early, not at all! it was too much stressful emotionally n physically!] ...
}
To whom i should explain...? n why ?
I may be wrong, but my Intentions towards my kid's future are sincere and very right!
Comments
I want to tell you only this worlds "do not bother or get stressed in the situation which is not under our control" Just hand it over to God and let God decide the solution.
Please check this video : http://www.ted.com/talks/devdutt_pattanaik.html
he clearly explain the truth behind people's mind set, thinking and culture.
regards
i cnt slap them, they r my friends! i have heard such similar crap from many of my relatives also! cant slap all! yeah, they never realize it hurts, it pains!
આ ઇમોશનલ અત્યાચાર નથી બટ આ તો તમારા અંતરની ઊર્મિઓ છે અને જુવો આવા લોકોને સમજાવવું તો દુર પણ આવા લોકોને કંઇ પણ કહેવું એ પણ આપણી (ફીઝીકલ-મેન્ટલી&ઇમોશનલી ટુ)એનર્જી બરબાદ કરવા જેવું છે.
આ એ લોકો હશે જેઓ પોતાના બાળકોને બૉટલનું દૂધ પણ નહી ભરી દેતા હોય! અને સમય સંજોગો આખી અલગ જ વાત છે...તમને આટલા ઇમોશનલ જોઇને એક વાત જે ક્યાંય કરી નથી એ (બહું જ ટૂંકમાં)લખું છું. મારા મધર મને 2.5 સાલનો મૂકીને ચાર વરસ માટે ભણવા ગયા હતા અને મારા નાનીમાએ મને ગામના (પાણી-ક્ચરા-પોતા વેગેરે)કામ કરીને મોટો કર્યો છે તો શું મારા બા (મધર) એ "શોખ"થી મને અળગો કર્યો હશે? ? (આ લાંબી વાત પર નિરાંતે બ્લોગ-પોસ્ટ બનાવીશ પણ ખબર નહી ક્યારે?! )
ઇનશોર્ટ દરેક વ્યક્તિને પોતપોતાના સંજોગ અને નિર્ણય લેવા પડે છે એમાં આવા ત્રાંબિયાના તેર જેવા લોકોની વાતું થી રામ ભલે સીતાને વનમાં મૂકે બાકી સમજદાર માણસોએ એને કુથલી ગણી ઇગ્નોર કરવાનું રહે .
Just imagine what if I had listen to them or reacted on their statements....
It's all what they say "Idle mind is Devil's factory" train ma timepass karva kai male nahi etle loko ni kuthli karvani.... Leave such people to the place where they r supposed to be (hope u got it where [;)])
hey.. do not consider anybody... just look in your daughter's eyes.. she loves u a lot... she understands your feelings even at age of 1. This means she is being grown up nicely(in right hands)...
The same thing is with me.. even i spend most of my time at workplace.. Still Prisha gives me lots of love,affection and never have feeling of loneliness,,,.. The important thing is to give quality time to ur child... whatever time you spend with her just forget about everything else... get involved fully in play with ur baby..
That i know u r doing.. so never think so much abt such an issue.. it will spoil ur mind...
It is pathetic. If this mentality wasn't there India would be growing even at faster rate than it is today. All crap. I have heard it all.
Just smile and ignore as you rightly did.
It's their hobby "gossiping" (and more apparently because they don't know anything else ), talking about others, prove own self a bit higher on name of tradition and sacrifices and not by doing anything, not by drawing a longer line but by speaking bad about others, by trying to prove their line is shorter.
Just think, What is wrong in being independent. Would i want my kid to be a traditional sacrificing kid? No. I will want my kid to be independent, capable kid who will survive in this competitive world. And how am i going to do it? What is a better example than being myself that way so my kid doesn't have to go outside searching it.
Working women dont love their kid less than others, that's the point.
Now smile. Heer is lucky to have you.